Bare Essence..Nothing Hidden

Bare Essence

[originally written Jan 1 2013]

There is no reason for you to doubt me or what and who I represent. My reputation proceeds me. My intensions are light for you know what they are. I don't have any problems sharing with you; you pretty much get what you give. [No need for me to explain the concept].

However, on the other hand, my recent encounters have been with those who carried a smile while stabbing me in the back. Their attempts perhaps in a sense changed me in some way. There was a time where I was ridicolously, hopelessly passive. I did not have the strength to say 'no' more less tell you what I was going through.

I was hurt, crushed, discouraged, alone and beside myself with grief. It seemed like the offender didn't cared, sharing that it was 'them and not me'. I hadn't a clue of what 'real world' was about even though I was living it.  Three kids, a dysfunctional partner and working dead end jobs, sometimes more than one job at a time.

Check this, I did not gain compassion from anybody. Child please, as long as they got what they wanted and were satisfied, that's all they cared about. And guess what else!? I went along with it ~ knowing it was wrong, knowing that I was not happy. The veil has been ripped down the middle; no more playing around. Time is priceless and of the essence.


Seeking Resolve
If you're looking for resolve for your situation, I can guarantee you the only solution would come through divine intervention, some fasting and praying.

#Much love
 MsLady1439

I'm Leaving You for Me

Still Standing no matter what ~MsLady

"I'm leaving you for me"; I actually heard this phrase in an old 90's R&B song.  The story that's being told here is, "I'm tired of you and your ways and the way you've been treating me. So, I gotta go do me, I'm gone".  While that scenario has romantic connotations to it, for me, it's more like leaving a situation that seems to be of no resolve; whether it be family, work or whatever. No longer, will I be dealing with someone else's issues, demons, philosophies, ways, temper tantrums, bad habits any longer. I'm out, gone, see ya!!!!

My only apology is that it had to take a large number of trials and tribulations for me to 'wake up'.  And that's usually how it goes: you'll keep going through the same mess until you get it right, until you stand up and say 'No More!'
If you've read my first blog post, you probably read where my husband and I found 2 people that were deceased in the parking lot of our apartment complex.  You also read that it was at that moment that something in me snapped. It was almost like a got a spiritual awakening, if you will.

This is going to be a hard pill for some folks to swallow. Trust me, it's going to be an even greater challenge for me, too to walk away from unnecessary repetitive nonsense because some of these players [people] I'm referring to are friends and family. Also, after you've been conditioned for so long to wait on someone hand and foot, you sort of feel empty when you're NOT doing anything for them. Okay, so your drama may make sense to you but if you see where your 'philosophies' is compromising our relationship [friendship], then somewhere down the line or maybe even on the surface, your way is perhaps not the 'way'.  Here are some things about this whole thing that angers me; manipulation and deception are at play. Discovering this pisses me off. I mean, you dont have to manipulate me and deceive me to get what you want. Just ask and if I say 'no, then let it go. If you're passionate about bugging me, find resources and get it yourself.

Enough! I'm out. It's time for some self- evaluation, some soul searching because anytime you're having dilemmas or issues with someone else, the best you can do for the situation is to check yourself. So, I'm going to check myself and move forward.

It's sad straggle heads want to wallow in misery; a total shame. It's tragic that you want to take me with you. No mam, No sir ~ do you.  I don't do rides with strangers...lol. No, seriously, I'm on something else.

I am....

....leaving you for me! 

Have you had enough and wish for change? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.